Behind The Smile
by MangaMamma
Summary: Inner thoughts of an older Sasuke and Naruto.  What makes them smile?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The usual. I only claim rights to my husband, daughter, cat and house.

Not much to say. The words just started spilling out one day and as I wrote Sasuke's thoughts out, Naruto's seemed to just drift right in behind Sasuke's.

**Behind the Smile**

**Sasuke**

I watch him, hidden deep within the shadows of the trees. He's standing with his hands at his sides and his eyes are closed, concentrating. He is the picture of calm, but I can see the energy bubbling just underneath the surface. That's something I cannot fathom. How does someone who was cursed from birth and shunned by an entire village, manage to maintain such a high energy level? How does he stay so positive? I realize it is an innate ability, a gift bestowed by some unseen and unnamed deity, but that doesn't stop me from trying to decipher it.

I crane my neck a little to get a clearer shot of him and suddenly his eyes shoot open and his hands whip behind him, sending shuriken and kunai everywhere in what appears to be a haphazard manner. But after everything goes quiet again and my attention is torn from the sigh of the triumphant blonde with engaging blue eyes, I notice his actions were nothing short of precise. As he starts walking around, gathering his discarded weapons, I see them. There, surrounding each one of the points dug into the trees, are tiny blue circles. I hadn't noticed them before because the dark blue blended with the brown of the tree bark.

Obviously I expected him to grow stronger. But there's something else in those eyes now. He's always had a fierce determination but now there's….a maturity.

When I first came back to the village I was all but shunned. I was the outcast who had abandoned his village for dark, evil, selfish, purposes. I hurt my friends and comrades, and chose to stand beside the very creature that killed the third Hokage and almost destroyed Konoha. I'm still not quite sure why I was allowed back or why certain individuals saw fit to pursue me and bring me back.

I suppose I shouldn't have been shocked that Naruto was the first to welcome me back. But his enthusiasm wasn't completely genuine. He was smiling and laughing, but those eyes…they held back.

Everyone has changed so much. They've grown into young adults with lovers and jobs and new teams. And even though I am the same age, I feel like I've been left behind. I cut all ties when I left. I have no friends to hang out with or a girl waiting for me at home.

But now that I'm here, I can't imagine being anywhere else. I don't regret what I did. I didn't go with Orochimaru because I thought he was a great guy and wanted to grow up to be just like him. I went with him because he was a means to an end. An end that I so desperately needed.

It doesn't look like he's going to set up for another round and I can't help but feel a little disappointed. I see him walk over to his pack and pull out a bottle of water ad drink deeply, water trailing down the sides of his mouth, onto his clothes. He looks up into the trees, seeing what I don't know. But he smiles. That warm, genuine smile that makes you feel like everything is going to be alright. Seeing how far he's come and watching him earnestly working towards his goal, I believe he will be Hokage someday. And that makes me smile.

_Naruto to follow..._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The usual. I only claim rights to my husband, daughter, cat and house.

**Behind the Smile**

**Naruto**

I can feel his eyes on me and try to ignore the warm sensation coursing through my blood. His very presence has always affected me, much to my frustration. But now, after living all these years without him, growing strong on my own, he doesn't affect me like he used to. Instead of the anxious feeling in my gut and the overwhelming need to beat him, I feel a warmth. He can still set me off like a match to a firecracker, but I don't show it nearly as much as I used to. I don't fall for his instigating remarks. That pompous smirk doesn't make me want to scream and pound his face in.

Iruka and Sakura say it's because I'm more mature now, but I disagree. I still cause trouble with my pranks and still get yelled at by my friends and superiors. It's my relationship with him that's changed. I don't feel the need to measure up to him anymore. He is not what I want to become. He is not the bar I'm measuring myself against. My focus is much higher. I've always said and believed I would be the next Hokage, but usually my actions were not aimed properly to that goal, even if my heart was. But now…..my entire being is focused. I have my goal and I will achieve it.

I haven't left him behind. How could I? He's helped make me what I am today. He was the highly skilled prodigy that everyone loved and respected. He was the smug bastard. I had to beat him. And beat him I did. Only, I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know what was going on inside his head and heart because he never told anyone.

But if I had known….what could I have done? He wouldn't have wanted platitudes from me of all people. Hell, he even left Sakura-chan behind.

Sometimes I wonder what our lives would be like if he'd stayed here. But all too quickly I realize there's no sense in dwelling in the "what ifs" of life. There's no time machine to take you back or magically fix things in the past. So I keep looking forward….up at the large stone faces that watch over us all and see my future. I will be Hokage. And maybe someday, perhaps after I've left this world, some kid will look up and see my face and discover the determination to succeed. I think of inspiring people, not surpassing them, and that makes me smile.


End file.
